Why the Internet calls me. How to react when someone humiliates

It happens that we can be offended and cheated even in the most inappropriate place, for example, in a store where, in theory, “the buyer is always right”, or in a clinic, in a bank, at work, in an educational institution, and simply at home same at home.

A picture was passing by, as a guard flew into a young mommy carrying a stroller with a baby, and began to yell that it was forbidden to enter the store with strollers, although this was illegal.

Some people generally have such an atmosphere at work that it is unclear how they survive there. The boss can easily be rude or call a subordinate, and employees do not dare to object to him, being afraid to fly out of office.

If you have been wronged, said rudely or called, you should not be discouraged, throw your fists at the offender.

What to do if you have been called, swindled, rude:

• You can just keep silent, not react, arrogant smirking. To offenders, this method often acts discouraging, because their words did not have the desired effect.
• Answer briefly: "You are rude and poorly educated." In some cases, you will bring the offender into a stupor, put him in his place, and while he is standing, his eyes bulging, you can leave the scene of the collision with your head held high.
• Read the rude notation on polite behavior in society, or say: “Zayinka, God bless you!” With a lovely smile.
• If possible, be calm when you hear in your address dissonant remarks, do not shout and do not meddle with your fists, this only shows how much the words of the rude touch you. It’s better to answer something like that with a smile: "Why is there so much interest in my person?" "I don’t have my own personal life, I decided \\ to take part in a stranger?"
• Say this: “If your self-esteem is so underestimated that you can only humiliate others by exalting yourself, I advise you to turn to a psychologist for help and support, because people like you have no real friends.”
• The answer to the boorish woman: “You are so smart and amiable, how beautiful and beautiful.”
• Of course, you can answer in the same way and be rude in response, having rolled down to the level of a rude offender, but shouting your tirade in response, you can throw off the overflow voltage a little. However, this is the most unfortunate of the options.

Here are some other answer options that you can use when skirmishing with the offender:

• Sorry, I didn’t want to upset you;
• I appreciated the depth of your thoughts, thanks!
• Thank you for your attention to my personality for not being too lazy to criticize her;
• Yes, for God's sake, I do not mind. I love being hated;
• Is that all you wanted to say?
• I have been a better opinion of you;
• Rudeness does not suit you at all;
• Do you want a polite answer or truth?
• Why are you trying to look worse than you really are?
  

Depending on the situation, you can put into practice all of the above methods of dealing with boors and rude people, in particularly unpleasant situations, try to give out an ingenious joke or cue.

It is not sad, but it also happens that none of the above helps, especially for adolescents. Ignoring and silence offenders can count as cowardice and weakness, and with even more fierceness continue to play a trick and mock people. In this case, there is only one way through which you can earn the respect of peers - to give back to the offender. This will show that you are not afraid, and are not going to endure further offensive ridicule, name-calling and rudeness.

Each of us faces rudeness every day. In shops, in transport, on the street, in hospitals - everywhere there are people who can ruin the mood for the whole day.

Offend and anyone can spoil a person’s mood, especially natural born rude people. On  them antics must be reacted correctly. TO it needs to be prepared and know what to answer in order to keep your nerves and get out the situation.

Of course, there are situations when to answer  insults are not worth it:

• on insults to strangers in store, transport or other public place not worth paying attention to. It is unlikely that anyone other than the police will be able to calm them down;
• not worth answering the rudeness of strangers if they provoke a fight. True, if someone wanted to fight, they just won’t let you go, but if there is a chance to avoid a fight, use it;
• on rudeness can come across  internet on different forums or in the comments. Provoking people on dispute, many people make money like that or simply amuse their ego. On  rudeness in social networks don't  is worth answer to save time and  nerves.

When you still have to answer, we upset that not managed to fight back correctly, and even if it seemed like you answer with dignity, post hoc phrases still come that are better suited  would. So as not to upset yourself, you can learn in advance to respond to the offender.

How funny to answer  insult

Many make a mistake when on insult react retaliatory rudeness. Of course, when they offend us,  it freaks out but if you gather your strength and do not give the boor attention, you will definitely win the dispute. Howsoever it was difficult, make it clear that you are indifferent to the words of the person who is rude. The best option  - answer rudeness with humor.

If you have in there will be witty phrases in stock  you you can get out of  any situation.

Immediately forget about the drums hung on the neck of the offenders, so that they lead the column going somewhere. This is a non-constructive reaction, albeit with a share of sarcasm. In response to the insult, humor is better to use intellectual to show its superiority over the rude:

• "FROM i ask this moment in more detail ... ";
• “Like it turns out beautifully for you to come up with nasty things ”;
• “I look, you they made a speech all night ”;
• “Maybe we'll call an ambulance?” You probably feel bad since you started to carry such nonsense ”;
• “I want to thank your parents for raising such a good person”;
• “Thank God you are talking nonsense again!” And I already thought that you were a smart person. ”

If the abuser is not understands humor and further continues to speak badly in your side, try to correctly explain to the person with clever words that he behaves boorishly. On smart phrases rude may not find a decent answer and  just lag behind you. Do not shout and swear - quite politely and intelligently explain that someone not right. Such composure will unsettle the lout.

How to get out of dignity such situations? There is a wise way. Agree with words rude and thank for  what he found your flaws. This method is very effective.  - you do not be rude in return, but put the boor in awkward situation. Uneducated people need to be made clear that they behave ugly. On tactful remark they will respond and  think about it.

If someone is pedaling your appearance (blonde, bespectacled, fat), bring this feature to the foreground and thank the person you are talking to. "Yes, I'm blonde, we've been talking for an hour, and you just noticed! It takes you a long time! ”,“ Do I need to remind you that glasses have always been considered a sign of the mind. That's what I see that your glasses do not shine. "

Best answers to  insults

Not on all insults can be answered with one memorized phrase. If boor with illiterate then smart maxims will come in handy.Beautiful and correct answers to  rudeness:

• "Not i want to break away from such an interesting conversation, but  I am in a hurry ";
• "How answer you not to  offend ”;
• "No, what are you, I always yawn when I'm interested in talking with the interlocutor";
• "You you know, my friend is conducting an experiment on studying the intellectual abilities of primates, you just need to participate. ”

To be ready for any insults, you need to know what a provocateur might look like. The boor's face:

• more often these are weak personalities who try to defend themselves with their insults;
• rude Are energy vampires who are pleased to bring people out of  yourself;
• aggressor people who like to argue. This is Y  they become a habit;
• stupid people.

How to speak smartly in answer to rudeness

To be ready to answer insults, learn some clever phrases that may come in handy. True keep in mind that some smart words are not enough. You need to show the offender that you  - a confident person, and you are hard to get out of yourself. Therefore, all words should be pronounced clearly, in a calm tone.

Examples of phrases that can be used in  response to insults:

• "Not worth getting angry so much as well  then your eyes will now turn the color of your red blouse ”;
• "If a b fools flew you b is not here now  stood ”;
• "Not know your preferences in  food but products you  use in food, clearly reduce intelligence ”;
• “It’s easy for you to surprise me “Just say something smart”;
• “You must have been little hugged in childhood so you so angry. Let me  I’ll hug you ... ".

Is worth whether to answer at all  insults

Do I have to answer insults, you decide only  you. Keep in mind that retaliatory insult in the address of loved ones can lead to that the relationship will be ruined. Therefore, so as not to to allow a scandal, try to defuse the situation on the contrary.

Do not forget that rude people are usually offended by fate people who simply are not able to argue their opinion. Therefore, do not be rude to yourself and do not respond to the tricks of strangers.

And one moment. When an insult concerns you, you decide how to respond to it. But if someone is rude to people close to you - offends a girl, mom, laughs at his brother or sister - here a reaction is already needed. Again: do not get involved in a fight, just show that you are superior to your interlocutor intellectually, and that the one to whom rudeness was directed has a patron.

What to say in answer to rudeness of strangers

If you are a naughty stranger and  you decide by all means began to fight back, use the repeat method. On the words of the rude answer with phrases: “What are you!"," And what's next? "," Is that it? Is that all now? ” So you get rid of quickly unpleasant person.

Use the method of surprise: when insulting, sneeze and  say that you are allergic to rudeness. BUT in general, when strangers begin to be rude, find out the reason for this behavior. If his insults are unfounded, make it clear to him and that they are unpleasant to you. In rare cases, of course, the offender is right, and the comments get to the point. In such cases, you have to agree with the speaker, but reproach him for pointing out your flaws so rudely.

IN in most cases, a person does not  ready to that they can offend him. Not know what to answer? Just improvise. Be calm, don't  worth going to emotions on about. Before you say something, think what might the answer is to say the interlocutor. When you learn to control your thoughts and  emotions you with easily get out of  any situation.

It’s far from always in life that a person meets only those people with whom he is comfortable and pleasant to communicate. There are also frequent situations in which one has to face outright rudeness, rudeness and humiliation. Anyone who is loyal to such methods of interacting with others will not fail to respond to such actions in the same way. However, this usually does not lead to the desired result - as a rule, the situation only worsens. Those same people who have been well educated, and they do not accept any manifestations of what they consider to be “bad behavior”, having met with him in practice, sometimes they don’t know how to adequately respond to it, so as not to lose their human dignity and not fall "to the level of rude.

Psychologists recommend that in order to maintain composure in situations of open conflict, train your own emotions. Usually in a situation where a person is openly insulted, he shows retaliatory aggression or shows confusion, depression. None of these momentary feelings will help him get out of the situation, retaining the "face". Moreover - in this case, the offender will triumph, for he has achieved his goal - he has unsettled. To prevent this from happening, and the “offender” saw only a confident and calm person, you should “rehearse” a possible situation. Imagining the moment of conflict, you need to imagine your "vis-a-vis" in a miserable form: a nasty toad, vainly yapping Moska, etc.

In addition, let the imagination draw approximately the following picture: the interlocutor's evil words do not reach the ears of a person, as if the first is somewhere at the bottom of a deep abyss. To make it easier with this, it will not be superfluous to clearly outline our own psychological boundaries for ourselves. In other words, to establish those limits of personal space that no stranger has the right to cross under any guise. This also applies to the emotional sphere. A person should decide how much he allows "strangers" to intrude on his feelings, causing their confusion. It is important to understand: how to respond to a particular situation - the choice of the person himself, and not others.

To any question, “How to behave when you are being insulted,” any specialist will say that a competent verbal rebuff is very necessary. Of course, it is unacceptable to stoop to insults - you should learn to reason with another without such baseness. If a person knows that at the most inopportune moment, eloquence suddenly leaves him, he should think about how to pre-prepare several gritty remarks suitable for any situation. You also need to come up with a couple of phrases that can be used when the offender will step on the most "sore blisters." It is not so difficult to do this, since anyone knows for what weaknesses or vice versa - strengths he most often "falls" during conflicts.

Improvisation is also allowed - moreover, it is very desirable. Such a phrase should be short enough (the stronger its “blow” will be) and respond directly to some word in the offensive statement of the opponent or to his remark in general. Here is a good example from life. Somehow, one very worthy young lady in public transport met with undisguised rudeness on the part of Mr. "podshof". A common occurrence, is not it? Politely asking him not to open his arms (which he was already starting to do) and not to breathe on her with his fume, she was sent on. . . three letters known to the whole Russian-speaking world. Her answer was brief: they say she is there more often than her offender - sober. The hops from his head seemed to be blown out by the wind. The drunkard was astounded and seemed numb to the end of the journey.

However, it is always easier with strangers, since they, as a rule, mean nothing in a person’s life, but pass through it in short episodes. However, very often people ask themselves the question: “How to behave if you are offended by relatives, who are dear, or those who have to constantly deal with and need to be reckoned with?” In such cases, eloquent silence can be not just gold, but a real diamond . As one of the great thinkers said, when passions rage, truth evaporates, like boiling water. It follows that it is useless to argue with someone at the time of the conflict, all the more so - to try to prove something to him or to answer his insults with any arguments. Much better - to leave, citing employment, and offer to chat later.

If there is a need to talk with the “offender”, and he is clearly not inclined to a constructive mood, a sense of humor will help to lower the “degree” of the tension in the situation and transfer everything to a more peaceful course. For example, to call a "fool" to answer that, they say, like that in life was unlucky, and loved ones are now "stuck" because of this. Everything should be expressed in a calm tone and with a friendly smile. Continuing in the same vein, a person can easily take away his opponent’s weapons - insults. Perhaps after such a thing, it will "cool down": its negative emotions will lose their nourishment. You should always remember that the "transition to personality" occurs when other arguments have already ended. Thus, the “adversary” shows his diplomatic impotence. So, he can only regret it.

This is one of the first desires that arise after an insult. But a retaliatory attack is appropriate only if it:

• witty;
• occurs in the circle of relatives or friends;
• rather relieves the situation than exacerbates the conflict.

In all other cases, even if you consider yourself a wit worse than Oscar Wilde, responding with insult to insult is not the best way out. So you go down to the level of a boorish opponent and make it clear that his words hurt you, that is, there may be some truth in them.

2. to joke

The difference between a witty insult and a humorous answer is that in the second case, you make fun of the situation itself. The advantages of this strategy are obvious: the insult loses its toxicity, tension, and the audience (if any) takes your side.

In this case, you can also take a pseudo-self-depreciating position. So you confuse your opponent and disguise sarcasm.

Example 1:  A colleague says you prepared an ugly presentation.

Answer: “Perhaps you are right. Next time I will not ask for help from my five-year-old son. ”

Example 2:  A stranger calls you names.

Answer: “Thank you, this is very valuable information. You opened my eyes to my flaws. There will be something to ponder over dinner. ”

3. Accept

In some cases, it’s really worth analyzing words that seem offensive to you. Especially if they come from people close and respected by you. In this case, take their remarks not as an insult, but as criticism that can make you better.

It will be useful to think about the motives of people, to find out what exactly made them use harsh expressions. Perhaps this is a violent reaction to your far from angelic behavior.

4. Respond to intention, not words

Any insult always has a hidden purpose. Make the secret explicit: label it.

For example, in response to rude words, say: “Wow! “Something really serious happened between us, since you decided to hurt me.”

So, on the one hand, you can unsettle your opponent, and on the other hand, find out the reason for his negative attitude.

5. Keep calm

If the insult does not come from a loved one, but from a colleague, acquaintance, or even a stranger, never show that the words hit you. Most likely, behind them lies insecurity, dissatisfaction with one's own life and the desire to simply recoup on you. Do not let the trick work, react calmly and with a smile.

If necessary, continue to bend your line: ask what exactly caused the person to such a reaction, not paying attention to his words.

6. Ignore

Often the best answer is its absence. If we are talking about Internet trolls, you can simply not respond to their comments or send boars to. Well, "offline" you can always skip the insult by your ears or leave. You have every right to do so.

An example from ancient Roman history ...  Once in a public bathhouse, someone struck Cato's politics. When the offender came to apologize, Cato replied: "I do not remember the blow."

This phrase can be interpreted as follows: "You are so insignificant that I not only do not care about your apologies, but did not even notice the insult itself."

7. Use the law

You can bring the offender to justice or at least threaten him with this. The punishment for insult is prescribed in the Code of Administrative Offenses, but libel is already in the scope of criminal law. In case of insults from the boss, you can contact the personnel department.

The main thing - remember: no one has the right to infringe on your honor, dignity and reputation. But you must answer the same people. Otherwise, any recommendations are meaningless.

Good afternoon, dear readers! Recently, one of my clients asked the following question: what to do if you are offended. We often come across unpleasant people who behave inappropriately. But we can’t put our heads to them. Only reaction and further communication depend on us. Today I want to talk about what to do to a teenager, if he constantly comes across insults, how to behave to spouses and what to do with a rude colleague.

As teenagers, we encounter rude classmates who believe that whoever is stronger is right. That you can easily insult a person, fight, humiliate and there will be nothing for it. And if the teacher complains about him, then he will even more begin to molest and generally will not let him live peacefully.

Not only in school do people live by such principles. And in adulthood we encounter similar specimens. One of the most common examples occurs every day on the streets of all cities of our planet. Drivers only insult each other in this way. Someone pruned, someone climbed out of turn, almost collided. All this is accompanied by a huge number of insults, slander, and sometimes even threats.

I'm already silent about social networks. There is even a special term on the Internet for people who behave inappropriately - the troll. Everyone can be bold behind the screen, not be afraid of a retaliatory strike, write everything that comes to mind. Avoid this will not work.

If on the Internet you can just close the page, not respond, ignore it, then in real life everything is much more complicated. The person who insults you is standing right in front of you. Here he screams, opens his mouth, from which humiliating phrases pour.

What should a child do in this case? Reply the same? Give change? Report teacher? Tell parents?

Stressful work environment

It happens that we encounter a terrible boor at work. This person can be a colleague, boss, customer, or contractor. And how to behave in each of these situations? After all, you will not explain to your boss that he is a terrible vile person who does not know how to behave.

In the office there is subordination and to express everything that you think to the boss in person is considered unacceptable. But if he constantly humiliates and insults you, then you can’t tolerate this either. You can try to talk, explain all your complaints and try to find a way out together.

In addition, you can try to avoid talking to this person. Minimize your communication or transfer work through a third party. Why do you once again face the negative? After all, he remains with you and you bring him home. Is your family life worth it?

You have to work at work. Perform all your duties, do not be distracted by clarifying relationships, observe subordination, do not respond to rudeness and humiliation.

It’s best to stop talking with someone who behaves in this way. After all, they usually wait for your reaction, passions, the continuation of the conflict.

You can get out of this situation as a winner if you simply stop such communication in the future.

Family matters

Everything is a little different at home. You can’t just get up and leave.

There is a problem - the husband insults his wife. It must be solved. For starters, you can try to cope on your own. A calm and reasonable conversation is needed. The couple sit down and decide together what to do with this problem.

Remember that in family life, respect between spouses is very important. It is his absence that leads to similar problems when the wife constantly humiliates her missus, trying to offend him. Be sure to read the article "".

If you can’t cope on your own, then you always have the opportunity to seek help from a specialist. Family psychologists help get to the true reason for this behavior of the spouses, suggest the necessary steps to change the situation and guide them in the right direction.

Family is our fortress. A place. Where we should feel safe. Our loved one should not cause us negative emotions.

Of course, we all swear, quarrel, but all this should not cross borders. Humiliations and insults are unacceptable in family life.

Is it possible to deal with this?

One of my clients constantly tells how his friends tease one of the guys. Sometimes jokes are completely harmless and even cute, and sometimes humor rolls into humiliating and offensive remarks.

Friends can and should talk about their feelings. If you are offended by their comments, then be sure to point out this. Ask them not to raise a topic that hurts you anymore, ask them for help if you don’t know how to deal with the problem yourself. Remember that friends exist for support and understanding.

It is definitely not worth responding with rudeness to such behavior. After all, you are an adult intelligent person and understand that such a reaction is expected from you.

Insults are thrown when the conversation has already lost all constructiveness and moved on to a different track. You can try to end the conversation, leave, ask to come later, put down the phone.

Remember that such a person probably has many internal problems. A happy man does not pour slop on others. He is friendly, sociable and calm. And when there are unresolved problems, then many consider it normal to dump all the rubbish on others.

With this in mind, you will relate to such people in a different way.

Be happy!